Sunday, February 25

Becoming me - Week 3

  1. Talk
  2. Get off the Web
  3. Get Healthier
  4. Leave the House
  5. Join some Clubs
  6. Say Yes
  7. Spoil Myself

At the moment, when I relax, my stomach unrolls against my underwear, folding the waist of my boxers down over my jeans like a horse curling his bottom lip. Sexy huh?

I've been dreading this week. I've been avoiding it. I’m unhealthy and I know it but as long as I don’t admit it it’s not really true, kind of like Global Warming. I've stopped taking care of myself. I let myself go, which isn't as complicated as it sounds.

I love food. If I was allowed to, I would go to bed with it. I tried that once with Cod and Chips. It was the first time my genitals had ever smelt of fish. But I also love feeling sexy, when I feel sexy my confidence has a natural boost, and I stand in front of mirrors more often.

If I’m honest though I’m not doing much to get healthy at the moment and the only way to get healthy is to get healthy. So for the first week I'm going to throw myself into it like a lesbian into a chocolate cake, get myself acclimatised, and make the remaining weeks seem like a walk in a cruising ground.

To Do

  • Concentrate on my food.
  • I currently hire a man with a shovel to spoon feed me. This week I will attempt to concentrate on every mouthful I eat and actually enjoy eating.
  • Go to the gym Mon - Fri for at least 30 minutes of cardio.
  • No sauna till I’ve built up a natural sweat.
  • Walk to and from Work
  • Maximum one vending machine purchase a day
  • Five fruit and veg a day
  • Learn to love my body
I will not however be detoxing. I refuse to do anything that makes me spend money. Unless of course it's chocolate coated.

Read Archived Articles about my health.
- I can make you thin
- Steaming
- Calorie Counting for idiots


Ps said...

That was entertaining reading :-)Most people cannot relate to my love for the treadmill, weights and fitness.Yes, I know--they must be wanting to kill me for actually liking to exercise! If only there was an easy way.

spoon said...

ha ha - ROFL - "throw myself into it like a lesbian into a chocolate cake" - ha ha

spoon said...

i went to the gym today at lunchtime instead of troughing (like as in pig at a trough), so i'm conscience clear!

The Freelance Cynic said...

God If i was to go the Gym at lunch I'd have about ten minutes of exercise time! How do you do it.

And ps.... shut up :)

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