Thursday, March 29

Grinds my Gears - Part 2 - Spam E-mails

You know what really grinds my gears?

All the e-mails people keep forwarding to me.

  • "Forward this email to save the whales."
  • "Microsoft will pay 3p for every person you forward this too."
  • "Your Bank account is overdrawn, and will be closed down. To prevent this, forward this E-mail to 10 people.."
I have tried to reason with these people...

"There is no such thing as an 'E-mail Tracker'" I've said.
"Companies don't get rich by giving away money," I've said.
"It's a whole load of TroodlePoop," I've said.

But people keep forwarding long E-mails promising instant access to heaven if I just pass it on to ten heathens before the next full moon.

So, I created a forwarding E-mail to stop Forwarding E-mails forever.
From: Simon Hembra
Sent: 29 March 2007 07:53
To: "Sue," "D.Grady," "Cierra Daniel," "Odis," "Madge," "Z. Murazik," "Andrew," Davon oore," "Megan.R.Leannon," "Harmon," "Cara," "Dayna,." "Ansel," "Fran," " Junior,"
Subject: FW: FW: FW: E-mail funds Puppy Slaughter!

***MICROSOFT FUND PUPPY SLAUGHTER THROUGH E-MAIL FORWARDING!***

Medical Company Pfizer gained sponsorship yesterday, from international computer manufacturers Microsoft™.

In the controversial deal, Pfizer will increase Email sent in the UK via advertising on Medication Bottles. For every E-mail sent Microsoft™ will pay $0.03 to Pfizer.

The amount will be doubled each time an E-mail is forwarded.

According to their Press Release, Pfizer plan to channel the sponsorship into their Animal Testing facility in Kent.

This is a barbaric testing facility

The ‘scientists’ play games with the animals, chaining them up and calling them names. Some are injected with manufactured viruses, increasing their sex drives till they die of exhaustion. They are made to smoke cigarettes, and wear stockings and make up. Many are taught to perform tricks, sparking rumours of a possible Pfizer’s Circus. And some poor creatures, like Rx, a five year old mongrel, had to eat out of a common Dog bowl!

A Puppy less than four months old was force-fed Dog-food from a test-tube. In a few hours he had grown an extra tail!

In an undercover report in 1967 it was shown that 99% of all animals, after testing was complete, were killed with a comedy mallet, minced up and fed to the remaining test subjects. Is it any wonder that the Mad Cow Epidemic started in Kent?

We can not allow this to continue.
All E-mail is tracked by a hidden file added during Windows Update 5 months ago. It can not be removed or deleted in anyway.

There is only one way to end this abuse.
  • Limit the E-mail you send
  • Think before you click send!
  • Do not forward that Chain E-mail!
  • Do not pass on that hilarious joke!
Only by breaking the E-mail chain can we cut the funding to this heartless Company!
Please forward this e-mail to your entire mailing list, then never forward again.

Working together we can stop Animal Cruelty in all its forms, even those sponsored by Bill and Melinda Gates.

The Puppies are relying on you!

Thank You

Keith.F.Stracke
Keith.Stracke@GreenPeace.org

For the full details of this story Please Click Here
Go on. This is one E-mail I'll let you forward.

7 comments:

etain_lavena said...

yyyiiipppyyyyy I can comment....ok let me contain myself....and say...whahahahaha....funny post there Mr cynic...my fingers they are a ticking to forward this mail;)

Pickled Olives said...

good post. personally i like sending the chain letters back to the sender saying - oops, just broke the chain.

Webmiztris said...

lol! that would work. what my husband does is he looks up the article regarding the particualr email scam on Snopes.com and then sends the link to the sender of the scam email. You think they'd get the point and STOP SENDING THEM, but no!! people suck. :)

The Freelance Cynic said...

Olives that's evil! I love It :)

And Etain welcome back and feel free to get sending the e-mail out. I'm hoping that soon WebMiztris boyfriend would be able to send out a snopes link my very own!

jonathan said...

wonderful idea Simon, but what about MAC users? surely they shouldn't be allowed to get aay scott free with their fancy shiny robert webb type computers

Angelika said...

What is a troodle?

Ps said...

These spams irk me too--and what is amazing is that people whom i thought knew better still forward them.GRRR..

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