Saturday, May 5

Blessons

Blogging Lesson number 23.

  • Writing what you consider to be a light hearted rant, without first explaining it to be a joke may cause people unused to that style of your writing to worry about your emotional and mental health.
This has been added to the growing list of blogging advice I have been compiling for new and wannabe bloggers.

Among the most important are:
  • Don’t update daily! People come to expect it, and send out search parties if the blog is idle for more than 25 hours.
  • Don’t ever try to blend your online persona with your real one. The mind of the average reader can not handle two contrasting personas on the same blog and doesn’t wish to know about your everyday life anyway unless you have something in common, normally childbirth, in which case your onto a hit.
  • Everybody likes a controversial subject to get their teeth in too.
  • Do not do a meme, not even one. Don’t even think about it! The second you do, you won’t be able to stop doing them, they will flow in through the door like straight men to a cross-dressing party. (What is with that anyway? Why do butch, handsome, adorably stupid guys feel the need to dress up in woman’s clothing at the drop of a hat? Answers on a postcard.)
  • Never include any poignant observations into your blog otherwise people will believe you can think and expect it of you on a regular basis.
  • And finally, keep posts short. Cut out every single, little, insignificant, pointless, dull and meaningless, boring, drab, repetitive and unnecessary, discardable filler word in your post. Keep it, your post I mean, the blog post though, not your mail because that would just be daft wouldn’t it, haha, just imagine... anyway, where was I, oh yeah... keep your post(see above) as short, tiny, minuscule, petite, diminutive, squat and ant-sized as possible. Otherwise the only reason people will read all the way to the end is for the hope of some kind of joke, laugh, funny or last line punch line. And they’ll be really, really, really, really, really annoyed, frustrated, fed-up, disturbed and angry when they discover there isn’t one. So don't do it.
Oh and by the way, this is a joke! See --> :) <--- Just checking...

7 comments:

Angelika said...

I fail at keeping my posts short.

But I NEVER do memes...

ally said...

i like updated blogs - especially daily ones.

however, one advice, one i frequently break is to update 1 entry for 1 day. sometimes, i have multiple entries entered on the same day, but no one reads the 2nd or 3rd ones. i don't have the patience to save them for another day. sadly, no one seems to read them.

My Reflecting Pool said...

Crap, I am constantly breaking rules!!!

Thoughloversbelost said...

You mean people are actually reading what I post? knickers!

Going back to my corner with the other grumpy old men to mutter to myself... :-)

Webmiztris said...

about the post length? you are actually so right. half the time my shortest posts get the most comments!

Dale said...

Make the rules. Break the rules. Fuck em all!

This Eclectic Life said...

Here I was being so concerned for your well-being, and you obviously don't give a rat's ass. I'm so crushed. I was going to pass a meme along to you, but oh forget it. And, I read all the way to the end and there wasn't a joke, just a smile face. hmpph.

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