Monday, June 18

[Un]Intelligent Design

A respected argument for 'God's existence’ is 'Proof by Intelligent Design.' I.e. 'When we look at the world around us it looks designed. We do not know anything that looks designed which does not have a designer. Therefore there must be a designer, and we will call that designer God.'

I'm not sure why we should call the designer 'God' rather than, say, ‘Cecil.’ But then I’m not a Philosopher; such things our beyond my intelligence.

The proof is logically sound and infallible. I often wonder why it isn't used in courtrooms, 'When we look at the Defendant we see he looks guilty, therefore...'

The difficulty with ‘Proof by intelligent Design’ is that many things which appear designed also appear ridiculous.

Take me for example.

Every day go through an almost identical routine. Firstly I lock the door and leave my flat. A few moments later I unlock, go back into the house and check the windows are shut. I leave again, then turn back and check the lights are switched off. I exit once more, go back to double-check the door is locked, and then, finally, I head to work. I'll be halfway there before I realise I left the iron on.

This is not intelligent. In fact, I am less proof of ‘intelligent design’ than I am proof of a ‘vicious joke’. Something, it seems, is wrong with the theory of intelligent design.
Evolution, however, is just as disappointing. My morning routine, should have evolved out of existence decades before 'the iron' even existed and been replaced by a stronger, manlier gene that closes the windows before leaving the house and understands the off-side rule without needing a 'Shoe shop' analogy.

The fact that my paranoia still exists says evolution no longer works, and it is no longer only the ‘fittest genes’ which are being passed on to the next generation. Almost anyone can have children now, (even ugly people get laid thanks to Friday night 'happy hours') so natural selection fails and the gene pool gets weaker with each generation.

Evolution must evolve to survive, and I've got a horrible feeling I’m the outcome of evolution’s evolution

Having established I am not the fittest of the species, Darwinian selection has decided to end my bloodline, not in the conventional way (Death), but with the last weapon left in it's belt. It is, after all, harder for a man to reproduce when womanly bits make him feel as horny as a castrated camel.

Yes, homosexuality, it seems, is nature’s counter-attack to the Weekend pub crawl.

And suddenly the idea of a creator God with the IQ of a Texican President sounds surprisingly good to me.

I'm left with two conclusions. Either I'm a failed product of Darwinian selection, or I'm the creation of a 'God' who forgets his keys a lot and considers 'worrying' one of the beatitudes. 'Blessed are the worriers for they shall be ever late to work.'

Either way, 'When I look at things around me they appear to be entirely discouraging. Therefore...'

Logically sound remember...

Infallible...

Do you have any examples of unintelligent Design? Is evolution a gift left to us by an alien race? Comment and tell me what you think?
Posts that make you go 'Hmmm...'

6 comments:

Itsnopicknick said...

Brilliant post Freelance! Loved it!

Did you know that Darwin said, that his theories would be null and void if they ever discovered something smaller than a cell...and they did...a flagellum. I think he basically didn't have all the information to make an 'evolved' theory, because if he had known about flagellums and Happy Hour on Friday...i think his findings would've been very different!

Miss Elle said...

I think God should be called Cecil. It would make much more sense.

Cecil created man in his own image.

That totally rocks!

Anonymous said...

Read "The God Delusion" by Richard Dawkins. Whether one agrees with his point of view or not it does make one think about God.

Anonymous said...

I don't call Her "God." She probably wouldn't like "Cecil" either, but I like the thought.

Just to be perfectly clear on something: The President of the United States lived in Texas, but he is not a native born son of the Lone Star State. I just want y'all to know that.

And, I think you are much too unkind to yourself. Anyone who writes this brilliantly is not a failed Darwinian selection.

Preeti Shenoy said...

Another proof that you try hard indeed to live up to your name--freelance cynic.A good post.

How can you run yourself down so much?Do you really believe it?

And after seeing that 'evoution of man' visual that u put up, i just sat up staight on my compuetr chair :-)

Unknown said...

Cecil was my uncle's name.

Still is, I guess....

Anyway, loved the post. :-)

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