Enough to make you're eyes google

I’ve been cataloguing some of the stranger search terms that have directed unaware children to this horror of a blog. It gives me something to do whilst waiting for the Viagra to kick in.

I can only assume the Google employees are trying to really annoy some local perverts.

1. The almost Reasonable
   
   • Gay boyfriend possessive ("Have they met my boyfriend?")
     
   • Funny reasons for increasing waistline ("Ha freking ha ha")
     
   • Stroppy men ("You hinting at something, buddy?)
     
   
   
2. Ewwwwwww!
   
   • Free nude pictures of petite women between ages 25 to 30 with small breast ("See, perverts do have a good vocabulary")
     
   • Street prostitutes Bristol ("Odd. I haven't even written about my new job on this yet")
     
   • Womanly bits ("Eeeeeeww")
     
   • Cruel mistress digging spur ("WTF?")
     


3. Search phrases maybe even I'd use
   
   • Blow me please (^___^)
     
   • Nakid Men (^______^)
     


4. Thank You!
   
   • “Guys are prettier" ("Awww. Well aren't you just adorable")
     
   • Hot naked ("Delusional weirdo")
     


5. Say what?
   
   • Healthy oats ("Who let a horse onto my blog?")
   • Unexplained bumps on head ("Try Childline")
     
   • Puppy Slaughter ("Why would you search for this?")
     
   • How do i remove candle wax off my rear projection television ("What? Why were you using your TV as a candle holder? They do them for 99 pence in Ikea! ")
     
   
   
6. And finally
   • How much does Beyonce weigh? (" . . . what? . . .")

Previous Posts
Part 2, Part 1