Thursday, June 7

Enough to make you're eyes google

I’ve been cataloguing some of the stranger search terms that have directed unaware children to this horror of a blog. It gives me something to do whilst waiting for the Viagra to kick in.

I can only assume the Google employees are trying to really annoy some local perverts.

  1. The almost Reasonable
    • Gay boyfriend possessive ("Have they met my boyfriend?")
    • Funny reasons for increasing waistline ("Ha freking ha ha")
    • Stroppy men ("You hinting at something, buddy?)

  2. Ewwwwwww!
    • Free nude pictures of petite women between ages 25 to 30 with small breast ("See, perverts do have a good vocabulary")
    • Street prostitutes Bristol ("Odd. I haven't even written about my new job on this yet")
    • Womanly bits ("Eeeeeeww")
    • Cruel mistress digging spur ("WTF?")

  3. Search phrases maybe even I'd use
    • Blow me please (^___^)
    • Nakid Men (^______^)

  4. Thank You!
    • “Guys are prettier" ("Awww. Well aren't you just adorable")
    • Hot naked ("Delusional weirdo")

  5. Say what?
    • Healthy oats ("Who let a horse onto my blog?")
    • Unexplained bumps on head ("Try Childline")
    • Puppy Slaughter ("Why would you search for this?")
    • How do i remove candle wax off my rear projection television ("What? Why were you using your TV as a candle holder? They do them for 99 pence in Ikea! ")

  6. And finally
    • How much does Beyonce weigh? (" . . . what? . . .")
Previous Posts
Part 2, Part 1

4 comments:

Though Lovers Be Lost said...

Geeze, I'd hate to see what links to me! Maybe it's time to crawl back under my rock!

ally said...

gotta love the google seekers! it's amazing on what people actually search online thinking they are searching something no one would know. haha, they are so wrong.

Webmiztris said...

I'm sure whatever "rear projection" you were referring to that led that googler here had NOTHING to do with television. ;)

My Reflecting Pool said...

I get weird crap too. But seriously, who uses candles on thier TV?

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