Monday, July 23

... and the gang of spoilers.

With the most anticipated book of our generation finally released the world is full of spoilers, people desperate to ruin your good time by telling you how the book ends long before you get to the last page.

Here are some tips to help avoid them.

  1. Fasten your windows shut with a locknigus Fastenus spell, or lock them, whichever is easier. This will ensure no Owls can get it with your friends spoiler letters.
  2. Cover up all views of the outside world using your old Harry Potter Posters, magic capes, and Sticker Collections.
  3. Look your door and barricade the letterbox. Book 5 should fit snugly.
  4. Unplug the TV, Radio, and telephone.
  5. Switch of your enchanted computer box.
  6. Keep all fireplaces burning to prevent the use of Floo Powder.
  7. Finally, Cover the house in an impenetrable spell like the one surrounding Hogwarts. ensuring that no one can apparate in and yell the ending at you.
Finally, in the last chapter when it is revealed that Dumbledore and Voldermort were brothers, look out for the hilarious misspelling of “Dead!” just after Harry is hit with the Avada Kedavra curse, Stupid Proof Readers…

12 comments:

ally said...

i've finished the book. i'm going to "shhh" still because some people don't want spoilers. however, i am reading the spoilers online to search for an answer for a question that i have after reading the book.

MyUtopia said...

My hubby has been glued to the computer reading all of the spoilers.

Ps said...

Me--i'm avoiding the spoilers--wish i hadnt read this post :(

julia said...

This post is hilarious!!
By the way, just did a Moaning Meme...

Sandy Carlson said...

That's fun. My sister threatened to take my nephew's book away, and he promised to turn her tea into a rat. She called the mommy abuse hotline but got no answer. They're reading the book too, apparently. I hope for her sake the Samaritans are free tonight. Could be rough.

This Eclectic Life said...

I may as well read the spoilers. I won't read the book. I'm a spoil sport.

The Freelance Cynic said...

Ally - Dan's told me the entire plot line, so I probably know the answer

Utopia - Glued? Must make it hard to type?

PS - I wouldn't trust the accuracy of this too much.

Julia - WKD can't wait to read it.

Sandy - I don't think the samaritians deal with magical disputes...

Ecclectic sure you're not missing out on much.

etain_lavena said...

hihihihihih...I have not even read one of the books...bad I know....but o well:)
hope your good:)
HUGZ

Angelika said...

You can use floo powder in fireplaces with the fire burning, dur.

You'd have to brick off the fireplace like the Dursleys did until Mr. Weasley showed up in their fireplace that time...

Sandy Carlson said...

My husband read your post and insists it just didn't go that way. Hmm....I still need to read the thing.

Skittles said...

Tell me you're joking about the ending. I just started the book last night...

Jemima said...

Ha. I think I prefer your ending.

Here via the moaning meme. What a way to start the day :-)

This blog has re-incarnated as
The Freelance Guru!

Click to be Redirected.