tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3745743414013778085.post2785300475961451896..comments2023-09-30T14:54:01.508+01:00Comments on The Freelance Cynic: Homophobic Abuse In My Own HomeSimon Hembrahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02187931644004280734noreply@blogger.comBlogger11125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3745743414013778085.post-12811257857483609892008-08-30T07:26:00.000+01:002008-08-30T07:26:00.000+01:00ery right to be angry, and to show those kids how ...ery right to be angry, and to show those kids how offensive they are.<BR/>at a future point when you calm down perhaps approach them calmly and explain your actions. You may be surprised at how they respond.ydb1https://www.blogger.com/profile/14726855705260080021noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3745743414013778085.post-44865661243682259042008-08-22T02:39:00.000+01:002008-08-22T02:39:00.000+01:00I think you did the right thing, honestly. It's no...I think you did the right thing, honestly. It's not like you threw punches or anything. No one should have to put up with that kind of abuse, especially in their own home. Now when you see those kids in the hallway, maybe they'll be the ones hanging their heads. Never be ashamed of standing up for yourself and the one you love.Meghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17975473150053998560noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3745743414013778085.post-7925141700207988752008-08-19T21:02:00.000+01:002008-08-19T21:02:00.000+01:00I don't think those kids will ever learn...My ex o...I don't think those kids will ever learn...<BR/>My ex of several years worked at an upscale tattoo shop, but the guys that hung around were always saying homophobic comments, which makes me literally explode.<BR/><BR/>After hearing about one of them doing some serious peeking in the men's locker room of a gym notirously known for being patronized by homosexuals. <BR/><BR/>After his last 'faggot' comment, I exploded and said, "you know homophobic guys are secretly interested in men... my friend at the gym, has seen firsthand."<BR/><BR/>He shut up, and I never heard the f-word again...he sure didn't want his secret getting out!<BR/><BR/>Would calmly explaining that statistics show homophobic men are hiding their homosexuality help? Or would that make them more mad?<BR/><BR/>Maybe sitting them down and explaining that homophobic comments are considered hate crimes and if they continue on that road, could potentially get in trouble with work or the law. <BR/><BR/>Or just have one of your big gay friends beat the hell out of them...hurts their pride in so many ways... ;)Daniellehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12559931746244373680noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3745743414013778085.post-37905359967530741422008-08-19T16:24:00.000+01:002008-08-19T16:24:00.000+01:00That's a terrible story. You should talk to my fri...That's a terrible story. You should talk to my friend, the Freelance Guru - he'll have it worked out in no time ... wait! What? Oh dear.<BR/><BR/>Well, I suppose you cannot undo what has been done. My advice is just hope the whole thing blows over. You of course should report any further trouble but my experience is that these things usually work themselves out.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3745743414013778085.post-73542957011972334072008-08-18T22:08:00.000+01:002008-08-18T22:08:00.000+01:00Since hatred and bigotry are learned behaviors, th...Since hatred and bigotry are learned behaviors, they can be defeated, at least in some people. It sounds like the one kid is open to a dialogue. <BR/><BR/>As long as you are not feeling particularly physically threatened by them or perhaps a smaller group of them, I would suggest trying to reach out to them. Perhaps taking a peace gift of some candy or sodas and using that to open a dialogue to explain how their behavior is hurtful and discuss how it makes you feel. At a minimum, it would at least plant the seeds that their behavior is wrong and you mean them no ill-will. <BR/><BR/>As to your friend’s advice to not be so “gay”, I would encourage you to avoid pda’s and any really flamboyant behavior.<BR/><BR/>I’ve found that most people who have bigoted homophobic beliefs will abandon them in the face of someone they know personally. <BR/>The individual will be less threatening to the bigot than the generic unknown gay person.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3745743414013778085.post-29849138553909315802008-08-18T19:07:00.000+01:002008-08-18T19:07:00.000+01:00how do you address abuse? bigotry? prejudice? mali...how do you address abuse? bigotry? prejudice? malice with no reason?<BR/><BR/>sadly...there is no way...time and changing cultural ethos may slowly but surely erase them.<BR/><BR/>till then...<BR/><BR/>rise above it, for a million abuses hurled at you by the weak, there a 100 words of the strong...harishhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06577358095573061481noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3745743414013778085.post-67254032464854989382008-08-18T17:09:00.000+01:002008-08-18T17:09:00.000+01:00I have to agree that you did nothing wrong imho. I...I have to agree that you did nothing wrong imho. If Dan was your wife no one would think twice about you defending her and telling the hooligans to shut up and get out or you'd call the cops. Yes, they're kids but they've learned their behavior from somewhere and quite possibly your blow up might just make them think.<BR/><BR/>You can't stress about the future encounters. When it happens again follow through on your threats. Report for harassment, for trespassing for whatever it takes to get the cops out there and put the fear into those kids.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3745743414013778085.post-3246179129158217652008-08-18T06:59:00.000+01:002008-08-18T06:59:00.000+01:00Thanks guys. It's not really me I'm worried about ...Thanks guys. It's not really me I'm worried about though. I can take it. But it really upsets dan...Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3745743414013778085.post-44608045197989408272008-08-18T03:54:00.000+01:002008-08-18T03:54:00.000+01:00i'm sorry that there are ignorant kids like that a...i'm sorry that there are ignorant kids like that around. i agree with dave that if they cause issue again then report them. no one should suffer that kind of abuse.Allyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06863476395629707285noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3745743414013778085.post-54890809180859041052008-08-18T00:47:00.000+01:002008-08-18T00:47:00.000+01:00OMG, I'm so sorry that happened to you. I'd expec...OMG, I'm so sorry that happened to you. I'd expect that kind of thing here in Texas (and am so glad my son moved to San Francisco). I think Dave is right. These may be "just kids," but they have been fed a diet of hatred. You trying to reason with them would have gotten you nowhere in a hurry, fast.<BR/><BR/>Do you think you handled it wrong? Huh uhh! Do you think for a moment that a heterosexual male would try to <I>calmly reason</I> with punks who were verbally abusing his wife? <B>Not on your life.</B> He'd tell them to get the heck out of his house or he'd call the cops.<BR/><BR/>It stinks that they know where you live, but what do you do next, you ask? You <I>hold your head high and ignore them</I>...and if the catcalls continue, you call the cops. Pure and simple.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3745743414013778085.post-91758626258813235952008-08-17T23:06:00.000+01:002008-08-17T23:06:00.000+01:00Sadly, those who are predisposed to hate and abuse...Sadly, those who are predisposed to hate and abuse seldom need an excuse... no matter what the rationale. Persecuting somebody because of their race, religion, sexuality, (or whatever reason) is part of who they are... whether from conditioning, peer pressure, or environment.<BR/><BR/>So try not to feel badly that you've made things worse. It was already worse long before you said a word. At some point you simply have to stand up for yourself, because people like this aren't going to respond to anything else. It's sad... it's regrettable... but it's all you have.<BR/><BR/>If you should be assaulted again, you'll have to follow through on your promise to report them (it's not as if they weren't warned). Hopefully this will bring some measure of relief or resolution, because nobody should have to suffer because of who they are or what they believe. It's not human, and makes the world a lesser place for us all.<BR/><BR/>I wish you all the best and hope things are better for the both of you soon!Dave2https://www.blogger.com/profile/15376066552003396828noreply@blogger.com